Wednesday, March 15, 2023

The Tick

 The Tick

 

I’d had the itch on the back of my head for three days when I noticed that it wasn’t in the same spot anymore. If my ears were Los Angeles and New York respectively, I had been digging somewhere around Albuquerque at what I thought was a pimple. But now I noticed I was pawing mindlessly somewhere around Tulsa, smack in the middle of the underbrush of my scalp. I was concerned. 

I had been itching since that rest stop amid the fields of yellow when I laid my head on the green grass gazing at the German sky.

Janet foraged through my hair for a few seconds then screamed. Considering the situation, a scream seemed a little much and my concern grew in degrees. What was going on back there, Invasion of the Body Snatchers?  Was there a portal? 

“You’ve got a tick!” the accusation was delivered with disgust.

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We were on our first European tour after the release of Beet in 1989. It was exciting to be in Europe for the second time, and this time with a musical career ascending quickly, a tour manager and a $20 per diem.  Coming off a successful East Coast tour with the Meat Puppets and a great trip out west, we were as tight and powerful  as we’d ever been and looking to build on our success in Europe. The first show in London was enthusiastically received even though we played way too fast on the adrenaline express. 

Our traveling party on the last ferry allowed out on the choppy Chanel consisted of:

Jan—Dutch tour manager/sound engineer/ Drum (the tobacco) roller, multilingualist

Michael—super road-eye, fellow Rainbo bartender, all-around moody sweetheart of a man, naked sleepwalker

Janet—the drummer, hall-of-fame thrift shopper

Rick—the guitarist/singer, another moody mope of a man-child

Doug—bass player, raconteur, fashion plate

Baird—lead guitarist, strong man, Chicago Bears fan

Amy—Baird’s newlywed wife, debutante

 

It took a while after that first trip that left us green in the gills to settle in, but after a few shows in the Netherlands, we were in love. I don’t know a single band that tours Holland that doesn’t say they want to move there. The audiences, the cities, the landscape, the fries… they had me at fries. Every show was great and memorable except maybe Amsterdam where we opened for The Sundays at Melk Weg and I discovered that coffee shops and remembering chord progressions aren’t a good mix for me. 

By the time the German Border Patrol rifled through our van as we entered our third country, we were beginning to get a little road weary. Anybody who thinks that touring as a band is an exciting prospect is really dreaming. Don’t get me wrong, I love touring, but it is not romantic in any sense. Typical day on a European tour:

9:00 a.m. Get up after maybe 5 hours sleep. If you don’t get up by the time the breakfast is over you are out of luck. Doug slept through many a breakfast. Breakfast in Europe is included with the hotel. It ranges in quality, but at the very least there will be a soft boiled egg, fresh rolls, granola, yogurt, a variety of sliced meats and cheeses, and coffee. 

10:00 a.m. Depart for the next gig. A good booking agent who cares about your sanity will have a sensible tour that has drives of less than 5 hours. Most booking agents don’t care about your sanity. 

10:00 a.m. (ish) –5:00 p.m. (ish ) The Drive. The first half hour of the drive consists of recap about the weird things that happened the night before. Soon though comes the catch-up sleep. This is the true joy of touring. When you “wake up” from  this sleep you don’t realize you’ve been sleeping at all, but when you mention the dolphins and mermaids as you drove under the sea you realize you were dreaming—it must have been sleep. You also notice that you are 200 miles further down the road. Miss this sleep and you will go insane. When you wake up it is usually because it is time to stop for gas. Rest stops in Europe are hit or miss. Some are amazing. Most of the time though you just want to grab a drink and a Ritter Sport. No matter what, everybody in the band must get a snack at every stop. Don’t get left behind like David Pajo did on a Tortoise tour. If you take a longer lunch break, don’t leave a briefcase behind with $10,000 in it (we had a tour manager do this on a later tour—never Jan!) (it was still there a few hours later under the table where it was left)

As you pull within the city limits everybody gets super-hyper and talkative. The most laughs of the trip happen here. Spirits abound!

5:00 p.m. The Load-in. Size up the club and surroundings.—is  it on the outskirts of town or situated in the zentrum?  Make a sandwich with the sliced cheeses/ meats, dive into a bag of carbs, eat a Kinder egg, ignore the apples.

5:30 p.m. The soundcheck begins. Jan had the same routine every time before the band even started—his personal cd mix tape blasted through the p.a. followed by ten minutes of “two, two…two two.” We play a song or three to get monitors right. We were not picky so sound check finished pretty quickly after that. If it was good for Jan, we were done.

6:00 p.m.—11:00 p.m. The Wait. After dinner, which often was great (but who has an appetite after snacking all day?) it was time to wait for the show which sometimes started as late as midnight. This is the longest span of the day. Some drink beer and talk, I walked. I cannot sit in a dressing very long. I am a happy conversationalist when I am talking to one person, but struggle mightily when that number expands. At some point after scanning the wall graffiti (one of eleventh dream day’s hard and fast rules is to not draw graffiti in dressing rooms. I personally believe it is a curse.) The worst of philosophy is on these walls—bathroom stalls seem wise compared to dressing room walls. Every possible way to draw a penis has been explored. The only dressing room that ever held my attention was that first trip to Berlin at the Loft. Lenny Kravitz had played there on his way up and had penned at least a dozen self-aggrandizing wall-monopolizing scrawls. The great thing was the replies that followed written by other denizens of the dressing room. I think my early take on the no graffiti policy was that “eleventh dream day” would be followed with someone writing “sucks” after it. Side note on the Loft—the absolute best spread of food I’ve ever seen backstage! (which ended up on stage at our second visit with Yo La Tengo—a story documented elsewhere)

Anyway, I walked. I would take off from the club by myself in what looked like the most promising direction.  I would soak in wherever we were. Today I would be taking pictures, but back then it was just keep moving, observe, and think about my surroundings and force all thoughts about the show out of my head. 

I only got lost once. In Rotterdam on our El Moodio tour I set off, but eventually got thrown by the lack of consistent street names and the endless curves. I usually use what I think is a pretty good sense of direction, and use of landmarks, no breadcrumbs—but the lack of a Jeffersonian grid is a challenge in many European cities that just seem to sprawl. I did happen to see some extra light in the sky though and I remembered there was a carnival near where I set out. I made it to the club just in time to go on stage.

Back at the club I try to drink just enough to relax, but not to where I’m going to blow it on stage. I seem to have a good sense of where that line is crossed. 

11:00 p.m.  Showtime. Crack a joke. A fake band prayer circle or something. See the faces for the first time. The first chord is always magic. I get to do this! I get to play loud music on a stage! I am never nervous, and there is an inverse relationship to my nerves and size of the crowd. I close my eyes and let it rip. I close my eyes generally because when you actually see somebody and notice them it can make you forget a lyric. Then you’re sunk. If my eyes are open they are unfocused or looking at a fixed object. 

The show is what the day is all about. It is the release of all tension. It is pure joy. 

Post show: I don’t want anybody to utter a word. I want to stare into the night in the alley behind the club for at least 15 minutes. Then, I want to devour more food, more beer, and pack up the gear. In eleventh dream day, Doug and Janet are at their best post show, laughing, drinking, talking. I usually have to excuse myself and go to bed.

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Amy did not like the routine. Notice how I didn’t mention sight-seeing. We were in London, Amsterdam, Berlin, Rome, Zagreb, Vienna and did we have time to see the sights? No. When I was walking around before show time, it was not where the sights were. There were amazing, amazing things to see yes, but I appreciate the local flavor—I didn’t need the Colosseum or Big Ben. And if you wanted to see anything besides the insides of a smelly, dark club you had to explore. 

[I did wake up really early the morning after the Berlin gig and walked through the Tiergarten to the Wall which was in the process of getting torn down. I chipped off a couple of pieces for myself)

But Amy was not the adventurous type. 

The complaints started as whispers in Baird’s ear. Baird would relay the complaint to Jan, who would quickly grow to resent that someone had the gall to bring their girlfriend on the tour. 

I managed to block out most of this, but we all noticed when Amy loudly voiced her shock that the waitress at the lunch stop restaurant served her on the wrong side. 

Michael’s disdain for Amy slowly began to show as we endured her comments, and his displeasure with her became obvious. His mutterings didn’t need subtitles. “Fckng btch” under the breath doesn’t need the vowels. The feelings became mutual, and a simmering war had begun. It was very uncomfortable for all, and Baird’s uneasiness became evident. Michael asked to ride in the back with the gear where a rear end accident would have killed him. He preferred it that way. 

We suggested to Baird in private that Amy might be happy if she had a more solid role in the daily routine. Selling t-shirts would help us all out (We had amazing shirts designed by Joe Sacco as well as one Catherine Irwin did for Beet that parodied the Physical Graffiti cover). At first Amy refused. It was beneath her. Out of sheer frustration and boredom she eventually took it over and I believe was much happier.

The night of the Munich show was Amy’s birthday. We were giddy. It might have been our best show to date as a band and we were sweaty and happy. We had gotten Amy a cake. We were having fun. In the pure joy of the moment Jan playfully nudged the birthday slice into Amy’s face. White frosting covered her button nose. It should have been the ice breaker. It should have been the moment where we all became comrades of shared experience. Why did Jan do it? I sincerely believe he did it in the spirit of the moment. If it was my birthday he would have done it to me. He may have been hazing her, but I think only with the best intentions. It was his way of saying that he welcomed her to the tour.

Amy did not take it that way. Jan was informed that he would pay for the dress. 

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Janet grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels from the previous night’s dressing room stash, screwed off the cap and plugged it on top of my scalp where the tick was burrowed. Soaking it for twenty seconds or so, she removed the bottle to see the head of the tick now exposed. I’m not sure what the science is here, what made the tick emerge, but in the blink of an eye the zoo director’s daughter had the bugger with her fingernails and yanked it from my head. She held it up with a shout of victory for all to see its bloody bloat, then squished it between her fingers. No tick was hitching a ride on this tour.

Monday, March 13, 2023

Occupation, or Not (the life, not the song)

 Occupation, or Not 


I found myself last year at what might be termed a crossroads. I made the decision to pull back from a teaching job where I had taught for a decade, so I was down to one class at one college. I also let my band mates know that I wasn’t interested in booking shows beyond the really special ones. It’s not like i don’t like work or playing gigs, I do, but at what point do you stop, or even slow down? EDD had just played Solid Sound, and I thought it was a good time to bask in that glow. And I could be spending more of my time working out, riding my bike and staying healthy, and going to the store to find something to cook for the family. 

So, I set forth to figure it out, a deep retrospective into my engagement with occupation. I thought I would write quickly, but ha, that didn’t happen. Here it is, a work in progress. Not work, though; let’s call it an unhurried rumination. 


Part One: 


Delivering the Pioneer Press paper


Ten years old, rolled up papers stuffed into my official paper boy sack, I pedaled away from Marcee Lane, the cul-de-sac haven of my youth, and across Waukegan road toward unfamiliar homes. Strange lawns, few dandelions and no clover—the manicured part of town. I’ve been over here only once, on Halloween because we heard that WGN’s Ray Rayner gave away whole Hershey bars. 

Instead of carefully laying the papers on the stoop, I toss them from the street over the fairway and onto the greens. It was ok, but weird. Nobody was ever out, no interaction, and that was fine by me. I was scared of people. Which led to me quitting before my first paycheck. Part of my responsibility was to collect money at the end of the month. Thing was, it was optional to pay for the delivery. This was not the Tribune, just a suburban rag with mostly classified ads in the back along with a few photos of a garden club or the occasional kid with a bunch of puppies (my sister once). I knocked on the first door, waited ten seconds, then thought, “Guess nobody is home” and scurried away. A voice behind me called out, but I was long gone. If I turned back I would be a salesman, and that slow death would never be mine. < one month. Quit.


Lawn Cutting


Middle school/ freshman year. Lawn Boy. Hard work and sweat, cutting grass supporting my baseball card collection and record albums (proud member of Record Club of America). My dad headed up the Marcee Lane block club, so he gave me the plum center island job for $5/week. Also had two neighbors at $10 per—they had big sprawling yards that took forever. Ran over a hornet nest once, but other than that, easy-peasy. The last summer  I teamed up with a friend and formed a “business.” Expansion. Enterprise. He saved money and ended up going to Europe and the Munich Olympics. I bought more records. One thing I have to own up to is that a family at the end of the block hired us to cut the grass while they were away for a couple of weeks. We only cut once, but accepted two cut money. I think they knew. Haunts me to this day. 3 summers. Retired.


Jewel bagger, grocery clerk


As soon as I turned 16, I became a bagger at Jewel, and worked there all the way up to college. Starting salary was the minimum wage at the time—$1.80, eventually making $4.80 as a shelf-stocker. Somehow I saved enough from this job (minus my budgeted 3 records per week) to pay for half of my college education. I had a blast. I kind of left any chance of a high school social life behind, but I made all new friends at Jewel. Gary 1 had a ’69 GTO convertible and we would “cruise” on the weekends in Waukegan where they had a classic drag in the town center. He only listened to the Beach Boys, and it was perfect for cruisin’. Two Fonzie thumbs up on that. Gary 2 was a year older and quite a card. Loved Jimi Hendrix. My first concert was Frank Zappa/Captain Beefheart at the International Amphitheater with Gary 2. I don’t think I went to a single high school party. Even though I was friendly with sportos, geeks, and freaks alike, I was paralyzed with shyness when it came to advanced socialization, so my social life revolved around work. My first experience with drinking was at a party thrown by a checker who was a couple years older. Vodka/OJ’s just kept appearing. I got dizzy, and ended up making out with checker, Betty. First kiss with tongue. It’s alive! Got a ride home from a Gary and spun in my bed, the taste of strawberry lip gloss melding with urp, vomit. First time bed spin. Stop this crazy thing!

The most fun was my night crew experience. A group of four of us worked overnight for two weeks while the “Lifers” were on summer vacation. We would eat whatever we wanted and had races on the pallet lifters, often taking out some end stands in the process. “Clean up on aisle five!” We had the radio blasting through the intercom—taped the microphone to “on” and put it up to the transistor speaker. 

By the end of the summer I was pretty checked out and ready for college. I was caddying for my favorite teacher who was playing in a Ladies Amateur tournament, and when I told the manager I needed that day off, he wouldn’t give it to me. He had me down for a two hour shift, and when I pointed out how bull shit that was, he fired me on the spot. Three years. Fired.


Wyler Foods: traffic dept. accounting


This was a patronage job. My dad owned a trucking company and I got a job doing books in the transportation department of Wyler Foods following my freshman and sophomore years of college. Nine to five. Office girls. The department  boss was a real jag—short guy, Joe, with a foul mouth and a limp. I resented that he made it clear that he was doing my dad a favor. I hated to think that my dad owed him. He was nice to me though, and I worked all day under the supervision of the head accountant, Lorraine, who was a nice, older Italian lady, like a very sweet aunt. She showed me the ropes, and I rocked it. I was fast and reliable, tallying the shipping account receivables against whatever the opposite of that is. I had to reconcile to the penny, or figure out why it was off. She felt sorry for me because I was a total pizza face those two summers. My face was a mess and she was convinced that I need to take zinc supplements to clear it up. To make the zinc effective, she said I needed this, that, and the other thing. In all, I took sixteen pills a day. Didn’t help. I loved the job. I think it was the adding machine, an old Olivetti with a crank that you pulled down to get the total. Peck, peck, peck, peck, crank. The keys had the perfect amount of give. I loved the feel of that machine. If video killed the radio star, electric typewriters killed office machines. I rode my bike nine to five, Monday through Friday, May through August. My bike’s brakes didn’t work. My Converse high tops worn to holes. Two summers. Retired.




Northbrook Park District - landscaping


Summer of my junior year, Wylers was closing, and I worked for the park district cutting grass. It was me on a crew with a few Mexican guys. Language barrier. It was fun to drive the cart, with a  shift on the steering column, not the floor. I did the mowing around trees and shrubs to trim (the trimmer hadn’t been invented yet) while the Mexican guys cleaned up on the riding mowers. On lunch break they would empty thermoses of Mexican food (it was the 70’s—I don’t know what that entailed) onto tortillas. I had my pb and j under the shade of an old oak. Jealous. One day I was told I would be painting a chain link fence at the pool. I don’t know if I had ever painted a single thing in my life. They gave me a few gallons of metallic silver paint. I am sure it was toxic. It was meant to cover up the rust of the neglected fence. It was an extremely hot and windy day—the kind that precedes a big storm. As I brushed on the paint in grand strokes, I had no idea how much was blowing back on me. I remember going home and realizing I looked like the tin man from Wizard of Oz. Every inch of skin and and clothes, plus hair was silver. I eventually cleaned it all off with turpentine. It was lead paint. And yet I live to type. One summer. Retired.


Blanding Hall U of Kentucky- front desk midnight shift


This was maybe the worst job I ever had—sit at the front desk of the dorm every Friday night from midnight to 8 a.m. I simply had to make sure that anybody who came past the desk lived in the dorm. Problem was, I just couldn’t keep my eyes open. I tried to read (the smart phone was thirty years away), but that just made it worse. I did wake up when the door swung open. There was one night however, that changed all our lives. I’m not sure what time it was, and I was for sure drifting off, but when a team of paramedics came hustling through the door, I was shocked awake. And then the shock turned to horror when they came back through the lobby, and on the gurney was my best friend, bloody gauze wrapped around both wrists. Our eyes met for the only split second possible, and then I was stuck there the rest of the night. In the coming hours, the rumors started to circulate. He slit his wrists. He came on to T. 

T. freaked out. My friend tried to kill himself. 

Nobody knew he was gay. Everybody thought he was weird. I knew he was gay, although he had never told me. I liked that he was weird. He introduced me to music that would change the rest of my life. Velvet Underground. Iggy. Patti. I knew he was gay early on freshman year. He seemed infatuated with T.,  a small-town Kentucky boy with dark, thick-lashed eyes and brown mustache. We all played cards together, watched season one of SNL every week on a tiny black and white t.v., went to UK basketball together. But, at Christmas break, they went to Louisville together to see Bruce Springsteen. They didn’t invite me they said, because I was in Chicago. Of course, they raved about the show. Bruce was skyrocketing to fame based on his amazing shows. I could never quite muster enthusiasm for him after that, even as Born to Run came out. 

 At the end of that first year, as we made plans to move into one of the Blanding dorms, my friend and T. made plans to room together. I was a bit hurt, this stacked on the Bruce thing, and I sensed they were closer, but I had no idea what that entailed. Things seemed the same. I had a crappy roommate first semester, but after the winter break I moved in with Fred, a guitar player who shared my love of Tangerine Dream, Todd Rundgren, and Monty Python. We could run whole skits together “It took me four hours to bury the cat.” “Four hours to bury the cat?!? We were both wide receivers on our champion flag football team. I was enjoying myself and spending less time with my former best friend and T. And then that winter night.

He did worse than come on to T. He professed his love. T. did freak out. He raised bloody hell. He moved to another dorm. My friend had tried to kill himself. He now had no roommate and nobody in the dorm supported him. This was a time when gay people were harassed at UK (and beyond) and my friend never did come out of the closet. Everybody kept their distance. When my friend came back from the hospital I went to see him. He told me what happened. He gave me the truth. We wondered what would happen. Would he stay in the dorm? Would he be ostracized? And then, the most heroic thing ever happened. One of the guys in our friend group from freshman year, and my best friend’s roommate that year volunteered to move from his dorm (the other Blanding) to be his new roommate. He had heard what happened and also knew the full story. Thing was, B. was the last person who you would think to do this. He was a classic jock, former high school basketball player from Louisville. The rest of the year carried on without incident. I ended up moving into an apartment with my friend and another guy he knew from western Ky., a guitar player who I joined as bass player (learning on the fly) to form The Pods. As for the job, I got some sleep in every Friday through the end of the year. 

One semester. Retired.





U of Kentucky basketball referee 


This will be the shortest entry. I got paid $5 a game to referee intramural basketball. Mind you that $5 bought a new record album back then. Aside from having to deal with asshole frat boys who didn’t like my offensive charge calls, the only thing I remember was a game that featured members of the Kentucky Wildcat football team. Art Still, who went on to star in the NFL as a defensive end with the Chiefs, threw down some fierce hang-on-the-rim dunks. Dunks were against the intramural rules, so I had to “T” him up. He just laughed—Art was always a happy guy. One semester. Retired. 


Construction crew 


’Twas summer of ’78 following my junior year at UK, and I decided to stay in Lexington to work. I had a couple of roommates, both of whom I mentioned in a previous post. We lived in an apartment in the back of a typically split up college town house. My room was in the attic—small, but cozy, unless I stood up too quickly and hit my head on the slanted ceiling. It was a magical summer, really, unhurried and surrounded by my friends. We drove all over the place in Chris’s classic Red VW bus—to the Smoky Mountains, High Bridge/Kentucky River, and concerts in Cincinnati and Louisville. The job was a trip. Chris was a licensed electrician who worked for a small company that did rehab construction and room additions. I was going to be assistant to Chris at $5 an hour and do any other jobs asked of me. 

We started at 7 a.m. each day and worked until five. Growing up, I had not done too much in the way of “handy” work. In fact, I was pretty bad at most everything having to do with construction. With instructions to get myself a hammer, I showed up at our first job site which was to be a room addition on a house. When the boss, Paul, saw me and my hammer he just laughed and said, “I need you to tear down that wall over there.” Earnestly, I went over and started hacking at the brick, Paul and the rest of the crew, Saul and Jimmy laughing hysterically. The head of the hammer I had bought at Sears snapped off on the third hit. It was basically a toy and he knew it when he assigned the job. Humiliated, I took the sledge he gave me and got to work. 

There was no job I did very well other than tuning the radio to the classic rock station. That summer I heard “Miss You” a thousand times. We were a bit peeved that the Stones had gone disco, but the song did worm its way into my heart. We saw the tour at Rupp Arena that year. 

Every day on the job was slightly different, mostly helping Chris with electric stuff. Early on, he did this thing where he said, “Hold my hand,” then grabbed a live wire. He wanted to show me how he could be the conductor while I got jolted. Funny joke. Shocking lesson to never trust Chris. I was the guy that had to crawl under houses with wiring to pull across to where Chris would pull it up. I was always cleaning the dirt and  spider webs out of my hair. Once, I had to drag something in the unfinished attic. We had laid insulation after putting up the dry wall ceiling, and as I navigated the beams, I lost my balance. Somehow, as I headed downward, I managed to land my forearm on the beam to catch myself. If I had fallen through that ceiling, Paul might have killed me. As I tried to shower that night, realizing that insulation was really shards of glass and that it was embedded, I questioned whether I could return the next day. I did finish out the summer, only one more bad incident ahead (I fell off the roof into a hedge while trying to shingle), but I did live to tell the story. May through August. Retired.


Walgreens assistant manager


Hey, hey, college grad with a bachelor of business from University of Kentucky. 1979, okay? Unemployment at 7%. Inflation12%. Recession looming. The job fair toward the end of senior year was a bust. White shirt IBM Lexington clean-cut scooped up local legacy frat boys. No scraps for you. I returned to Northbrook and opened the local paper to the classifieds. Ew. Interviewed with Sears because my uncle worked as a lawyer for them. Nothing. Interviews with medical sales company. Nothing. Interviews with Walgreens. You’re hired. $9,800 to start as an assistant manager. I went to school for this? It was okay. I knew retail from my Jewel experience, and now I was doing managerial things like checking in all the cash registers and closing the store. There was no challenge. Someday, if I played my cards right, I could be a manager, or even a district manager! My store manager got caught by corporate security walking out with a six pack of beer and assorted snacks. Busted! There goes your dream, buddy! Three months into my training, I resigned. This won’t look good on your permanent record, kid. Thing is, my girlfriend, who was still in Lexington, was trying to convince me to come back. I do not know why. She was my first girlfriend in four years of college, coming into my life at the very end of my final semester and kept me on a string, like a yo-yo, confusing the hell out of me, but she wanted me back. Hey Walgreens—see ya’ suckers! 3 months. Quit.


UPS loading dock


Back in Lexington for the fall of 1979, now a college graduate in a college town. I documented my first day back in the song, Life On a String. “All my records packed in the trunk”. When I pulled up to a party at my old roommate’s house, it was very exciting. Everybody was so happy to see me, and my girlfriend would soon show up and we would go to her new house where I would share her space along with three other roomies. When she got there, it was immediately weird. She hugged me warmly, but she had shown up with a young woman in a leather jacket and short spiky hair who seemed to be hovering a bit too close. When we got back to her place, and we went up to our bedroom, she dropped the bomb. “I should have told you sooner”, but things had “changed.” She was very attracted to this new person, and it was hard to describe, etc, etc, etc, but we were going to have to be “just friends.” I bolted out of there angry and confused, but mostly hurt. Ok, devastated. I drove back over to the party which was dying down, told the story, and was given a place to sleep until I could find something new. I couldn’t go back to Chicago. That would have been even more humiliating. So, I found a studio apartment near campus, and set out for a new job. First, I tried to convince the local Walgreens that I had management skills, but they could only put me on as a cashier. I found a seasonal job at UPS on the loading dock, unloading boxes. Good thing I had that degree. The most memorable thing there was the crew I was with. A few of the guys were members of the UK football team. Season now over. These were not the starters, those guys, I learned, got ghost jobs on horse farms, a way to get kick-backs in style. They could come out, glad hand with the alumni, and collect a check. I schlepped boxes, four hours a day, for two months. November/December. Let go. 


Porter Paints assistant manager


After seeing in the new year and new decade, and playing bass in a punk rock band, I found myself leaving it all for Florida. Really long story how I got there, (told in my story/song, North of Wasteland) but I was back with the girlfriend that had convinced me to move to Lexington. We had gotten back together in the spring of 1980, and now she was headed to where her parents lived inland a ways from West Palm Beach with designs on an acting career, and encouraged me to join her. Florida was not my bag, really, and job prospects still were not good anywhere in America, and who was I fooling, Sherri was my only occupation.

After the local papers turned up squat, I went to a job recruiter. The pickings were extremely slim, but they got me a starting management position at a Porter Paint store in Delray Beach, on A1A, just across the street from the beach. My job to start was to run the register and make up the gallons of paint, and eventually do the books. It was a small operation and there were only three of us in the store. On weekdays, there was a huge rush by the contractors picking up what they needed for their days’ work, and the rest of the day devoted to housewives and small projects. If you go to a Home Depot today with a project in mind, you can show the employee the card and number of what you want, they program it in and let the computer do the rest. Back in 1980, they had the cards and numbers, but the rest was done by hand, and I had to manually squirt a prescribed combination of colors into the gallon of base and put in on the mixer. The real fun was when somebody brought in a sample of something they wanted to match. I had to use my limited experience and intuition to get it close to why they wanted. It was a challenge, but it was really the best part of the job. 

I worked six days a week (on Saturday’s we closed at noon), and rode my bike home for lunch every day. You could set your watch to the daily downpour of rain, where the humidity demanded the skies release twenty minutes of water. I wasn’t paid much and had to pay the agency back, so I didn’t save any money, but I was living with my girlfriend and acting in a summer stock theater production of Moliere’s The Miser at South Atlantic University. 

Back at the paint store, there are two days that stand out. The first was the busiest of my tenure, the day of an approaching hurricane, and droves of people coming for painters tape to mitigate against window damage. All day long we had the transistor radio on, which would give coordinates for the path of the hurricane. We plotted the hurricane on a map, and you could directly see and predict where this thing was headed. It ended up swinging north. Like the old days of using a road atlas, the tactile experience and problem solving was a thrill. I do love GPS and how it has made life so easy, but I have to think our brains are changing without having to solve things anymore. 

My other memory was accidentally spilling an entire five gallon container of white primer into the cavernous trunk of a brand new Cadillac. I tried to clean it up, but made an even bigger mess. I’ll never forget the kindness of the woman who owned the car. I was profusely apologetic and frantic, and was making an even bigger mess. She actually said to not worry, she would take it somewhere to get cleaned. I’m sure she felt sorry for me. 

By the end of the summer, I realized that my future was not in Florida. Porter Paints was offering me a raise and my own store to manage in Boca Raton. I was intrigued because Boca had something of a punk scene and a cool record store, but I just couldn’t see my life there. For the first time, I was the one to break up a relationship before getting my heart broken. 

Six months. Quit.



A.C. Nielsen marketing researcher 


This would be my first real post college work. Soon after getting back to Chicago, I found out from a Kentucky friend that he was working for A.C. Nielsen in my hometown of Northbrook—and they were hiring. I was ready to get serious and work for a company for the rest of my life until I could put my feet up with a gold watch and nest egg. That was still the reasonable expectation in 1980. Nielsen was legendary in my mind—t.v. ratings people—who didn’t know The Nielsen Ratings? The job I would be doing, however,  had little to do with television. Nielsen also did high quality market research for the grocery/drug store world. Clients paid for information compiled by scores of field reps assigned across the country. 

Training took place on the then modern corporate campus, and I was one of a couple dozen of new recruits. There was a fake store with products on the shelves, and our job, once in the field would be to take inventories by hand with pencil and binder, noting promotional and positional product placement.

 At the end of the training, the whole U.S. was possible for an assignment destination. My one request was to please, please assign me to a major city. Anywhere. Just be major. 

I was assigned to Horseheads, New York. This was the smallest possible place to be assigned. Really? I guess they figured they needed somebody in that region, and I was most likely to stick it out. So, on Easter weekend of 1981, I checked into a hotel ready to work. 

My assignments would take me all over central New York. I had a number of stores to inventory on my own, and I would meet crews in places like Binghamton and Ithaca. I drove my new Fiat Strada all over the place. Got an apartment in a classic old house with creaky wood floors. Neighbors were nice enough, but not really in the same age/interests category. It didn’t take long for the loneliness to build. I could get my work done in less than forty hours a week, with half of it possible to do from home. I’d package up my work to send to Fond Du Lac for processing. I had tons of free time. I had a Pentax camera, no television, a stereo, and my old roommate’s ‘67 Telecaster. I’d wander the town, alone with the voice in my head sounding more desperate by the day. I had a tic where I would touch each of my fingertips to my thumb as I walked. Over and over. I can still see myself walking through the park, wondering why I was doing that. I felt invisible, yet intensely self-conscious. In retrospect, I think I was close to a breakdown. 

Every night, I’d dive into my Neil Young Zuma songbook where it showed how to make the chords. I read a lot. I felt desperate a lot. I had to get out. One weekend, I decided to make the drive to New York City for a first time visit. I had no plan. I drove down from the north of course, and I figured I would head to Times Square, park, and look around. I came in through what I thought might be Harlem, but who knows. I finally made it through the traffic to Times Square and parked. Twenty bucks? You gotta be kidding! It was mid-day when I stepped out of the garage and went to cross the street. Looked up, because, New York, and just avoided getting hit by a taxi. I found myself outside of Bond’s International Casino. I recognized it because I had been picking up the Village Voice in Elmira and knew the Clash had a sold out run there. Thing was, I didn’t know, was that they added a matinee show. A guy asked if I wanted to buy a ticket. It wasn’t even being scalped, and it was dirt cheap. It felt like a ripoff, but when I walked in, quickly found how real it was. The Brattles opened and the Clash ripped the roof off the joint. Sandinista! After the show, I got back in my car and drove back to Elmira. 

I ended up making many trips to NY after that, always hitting Bleeker Bob’s for a stack of post punk imports. I saw a couple of shows, both at the Ritz. The first was Gang of Four with a very young, pre-Chronic Town R.E.M opening. I bought the Radio Free Europe 7”. Go4 was my favorite band at the time, and it was an amazing show. I danced the whole time, alone, together with everybody else. These trips saved me from losing it. 

In the meantime, work was easy, too easy, but I enrolled in a photography class at the art museum and learned to develop my own photos. I don’t think my technique was all that good, but I had an eye for framing things. There was a show of the classes’ work and I felt excited to be part of something. Still, I had my sights set elsewhere. I had to get home to Chicago, but you couldn’t ask for a transfer until you put in a full year. So, I moved to Ithaca. 

I had a store that I inventoried in Ithaca at the top of the hill leading to campus from downtown, so I appreciated what it was. Ithaca is a beautiful town, for sure. I got an apartment on State Street in the heart of the area closed to traffic. I had acquired the Moosewood cookbook when I still lived in Northbrook where I had become a vegetarian. And now the Moosewood was just a couple of blocks away. I used to open my windows to the foot traffic of the street mall, blasting P.I.L. Metal Box and Mission of Burma just hoping someone would notice, knock on my door, and be my friend. No luck. I attended a weekly reggae night at a local club. Saw Peter Tosh there. Didn’t make any friends. Still lonely. That soon changed. 

My friend from the U of Kentucky dorms, who had moved to San Diego, had a friend he was going to set me up with—a blind date. She was from Wayne, New Jersey and was home for the holidays and I would meet her at her brother’s house and drive into the city for a date. We had plans to go to the infamous Mudd Club.

Susan was cool, and we hit it off right away. I had been so freaking lonely, and it was really nice to meet somebody who shared my musical tastes. Driving to the Mudd Club was not so easy. In my head, I remember White Street, and I don’t know if that is the street it was on, but in any regard it was difficult to find. And Susan, who I thought knew the city a bit, got totally lost and took us over the Brooklyn Bridge. We finally found the club. Wall of Voodoo played. Fun night. And we hit it off. Saw New Order at Peppermint Lounge. Susan moved across the country to Ithaca with her cat, Aurora, and I was lonely no more. Eventually, I got the transfer back to Chicago, cat in tow, with Susan to follow after I found an apartment. Got a place near the tracks on the south side of Lunt. Renamed the cat, Pigeon, because he would sit in the window stalking the flock of grey city doves in the eaves just feet away from him through the glass. And Aurora was a crappy name for this wild boy who must have had mountain lion in his blood.

Starting back with Nielsen soon had me thinking maybe I should have been more careful with what I wished for. Where the upstate New York assignment was pretty much a breeze, Chicago was a slog, and the work week often got up to 60 hours. We worked on a “flex” contract which meant you got paid the same whether you worked 30 hours (as I had in Ithaca) or 60. Sixty became the norm. I did enjoy driving all over the city, and we got reimbursed by the mile at a decent rate. My assignments would take me to just about every neighborhood in the city and suburbs. I knew every hot dog joint there was. There were no bad ones in Chicago. 

The places I worked at were often unpleasant. Sometimes, where I went through boxes, rats would scurry around. I had to go through shipping and receiving records too, and I could tell from their dirty looks, which stores cooked the books. 

I liked going into the Northbrook hq again, and it was nice to be closer to my parents again. Something was missing though. I had played bass in a punk band during my post college Lexington year, and I wanted to find a band to join. I scoured the Reader for opportunities and failed the one audition I went to. I was trying out as a guitar player, which I barely knew how to play. I had spirit though.

 It turns out my relationship wasn’t the same, and it was evident it had been born more out of loneliness than love. Overworked, not in love, and looking for something more as a musician, changes would be coming. 

Exit Susan, enter Janet Bean. Spring 1983. I wish it had been as easy as that sounds. But within a few months, Janet would be moving to Chicago to attend Columbia College. She set up in an apartment in a Boho building across the street from me w/ the  train tracks and Heartland Cafe a block away. Before long, Janet and I were jamming. She got a job at the Heartland where she worked with Shu Shubat, an artistic woman with similarly undeveloped musical aspirations, who filled out the band using my bass and amp. We came up with the name, Eleventh Dream Day which Shu warned must be spelled out for karmic reasons. 

I continued to work, the band made a demo which got into the hands of some people who spread the word, and we made a very quick climb into the Chicago music scene and onto WNUR college radio where the buzz put us on the main stage at the Armadillo Day spring festival in 1984. 

On weekends, we would pile into my tiny Fiat with our amps, and even friend Raoul Stober, and travel to Lexington, Louisville and Cincinnati. Janet and I wanted a bigger, more aggressive sound for the band and Shu quit when we started auditioning guitar players. Baird Figi, who we had met at Round Records, eventually joined the band (we also auditioned a young Jim Ellison), and he brought in Doug McCombs who also worked at the store and could replace a fleeing Shu on bass. The band that you know today truly formed then in 1985, and with the momentum we had already achieved at home and in the English fanzine world, we rapidly climbed the ladder. Sue Miller started throwing us $50 opening slots at West End and then Cubby Bear. We opened for The Feelies, Replacements, Slickee Boys, and The Wipers. Then Joe Shanahan brought us to the Metro stage to open for The Long Ryders. This one, and the opening slot for the Meat Puppets really got our name out there, and our first ep plus Prairie School Freakout got international attention. 

Back at work, I was only thinking about the band really, but I was good at my job. In fact, I don’t think there was anybody as fast or as accurate as me. I was extremely reliable. And although I might play a gig in Minneapolis at the Uptown on a Sunday night, I’d be there at the inventory in the morning, shirt changed, with tie attached while we got gas. In all fairness, I should have been offered a job in client services. That was the pinnacle in terms of money and prestige at Nielsen, and I kept getting passed over. Perhaps it was my look. I did stick out a bit in hair style and I preferred skinny new wavy ties over the double wides of the day. I also got leap-frogged by a couple of less experienced women, because Nielsen, like many other companies of that era had zero females in the upper echelons of the company and they need to catch up. It was affirmative action for sure, but I got it, and agree with it to this day. (It was all white back then too!) The thing that really got my goat though was the Reagan era changes that seeped in. I found myself having to train part-timers to do my job. These part-timers didn’t have to go through the same process that we went through and were thrown into the fire, They dragged down our teams and were incompetent and unreliable. But Nielsen didn’t have to give them benefits or profit sharing like I had. That’s when the fabric of America changed, my friends,  under Ronald Reagan, who shifted the paradigm toward unrestrained corporate profit and trickle down economics. The loyal, company man would be no more. David Byrne would ask the musical question, “How did we get here?” Ronnie effing Reagan.

It was 1988. The band had done self-booked tours West and East, and Prairie School Freakout was hitting the college charts with New Rose getting us distributed in Europe. Janet and I decided to get married. We had a show booked at Metro with a honeymoon jaunt to Europe to hunt down all those people who had sent us fan mail to see if they would host us on their futons as we back-packed and Euro-railed across the continent. The only way to make this possible; resign my job of eight years. 

I called my boss, who I really liked, to set up a meeting to tell him the news. He told me that the company wanted a meeting with me to give me some news. Hmmmm. So, I sat down with Art and somebody way up the food chain from him. They explained that I was being offered a new opportunity and a massive raise that would almost double my salary. It wasn’t the client service job I had sought—it was something brand spanking new. A new technology using scanners at grocery checkouts was rolling out in the area, and so that Nielsen would be on top of the technological shift, I was being offered a job where I would have an integral part of it moving forward with the electronic developments. We had already moved away from doing our work on paper in favor of hand held computing and this was a logical next step.

Ummm, thanks, I sputtered. I appreciate that you thought of me for this, I sputtered. But I, sputter, sputter, am resigning. Pffft. I quit. Gathered up my profit sharing pile that had accrued and quit. Eight years.


Next;


Pt. 2:


“Rock star”